Breaking down five things dialogue shouldn't do.
Too many of us, me included, use dialogue as a tool to manipulate rather than reveal character and story. Think of dialogue as a magnifying glass instead of a hammer.
Think of dialogue as a magnifying glass instead of a hammer.
Don't get me wrong. Dialogue should advance a story, otherwise, why include it in your pages? But it shouldn't feel forced, as though the lines were inserted by the author to make a boorish point about the plot, the character's intentions, or exposition. There's no way to sugarcoat it: Dialogue employed in this manner is nothing more than sloppy storytelling. You've got to take a step back, and do the hard work. You've got to try harder.
Good dialogue shouldn't:
Hit the reader over the head with ideas What a deep, philosophical point you made, John! That's going to force me to rethink the way I live my life!
Report exposition (something that's happened in the past) in order to bring the reader up to speed—especially when the event is obvious to both characters in the conversation Remember that time you cheated on me with my best friend? And I cried on the couch for days and made you sleep in the guest bedroom? And then your mom came to visit and lectured you?
Be written in Q&A form Want to go out to dinner, John? Sure. Where would you like to go? I would love to go to Cracker Barrel. That sounds great, but we haven't been to Pizza Hut in a while. Pizza Hut sounds good, too. Let's do that instead.
Do nothing to advance the story How are you feeling, John? I'm fine. Really? You don't look fine. No, it's true. I'm feeling fine. Hm. I'm not so sure. Are you sure? Yes, yes I'm sure.
State the obvious You look really great in that plaid shirt from Brooks Brothers—and you're drinking a scotch, I see!
A bonus tip: Look back on your dialogue and check for names. When you talk to your friend John, do you always call him by his name? Especially if it's just the two of you in the room—why would you keep saying, John, John, John? Who else are you talking to? Too many Johns will make the dialogue feel stilted, taking the reader right out of your story.
Good dialogue will:
Suggest rather than explain
Often leave characters' questions unanswered
Sound natural when read aloud
Reveal character agendas
Make a point not only by inclusion but by omission
Take into account the manner in which something is expressed
Make use of character tics and regional patois where appropriate
A great rule to live by: Dialogue reveals character by how it's said, not by what is said. When our protagonist Cheryl wants John to ask her out, would she say, "Hey, John, buddy, want to take me out on a date?" (Well, maybe she would, depending on how you've drawn Cheryl as a fully-loaded character.) Or might she say: "I'm bored. Got no plans tonight. How 'bout you? Naw, you're probably busy, you being the big man on campus and all."
Dialogue reveals character by how it's said, not by what is said.
Remember that dialogue is sleight of hand, not a disappearing elephant trick on the Vegas strip. Writing is hard, and dialogue is no exception. With some practice, you'll learn to use it to magnify a character, not pound him into the reader's head.
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